squeetus

Kate's eagles

I was just wanting to avoid writing for a minute, and I thought to myself, "I wonder if Kate DiCamillo has a blog." And by golly, she does. Please read this entry with me.

Okay, let's get this part out of the way: Don't you love her? I mean, don't you?

And then also, what she says reminds me so much of why I do what I do, which I have been wondering about lately (as always) and questioning my own sanity. So often I feel like Laura Ann Worsley, my writing like a green plastic purse, and I go about slapping people and whooping with delight at the little observed treasures, because I saw them, I knew them, I wrote them down, and I want to share them. And I'm saying, "Look at that airplane up there! I know there are lots, but I saw this one, and I want to share it with you!" And often the response is, who cares? That airplane isn't so great. I've seen better ones. I didn't really want to look at an airplane right now, I have better things to do.

And I want to be Laura Ann Worsley, because at that point, she didn't run behind a tree and cry in heartbreak and anguish. She was just plain pleased.

Why do artists and writers do what we do? Why do we spend years plotting and crafting and polishing only to share the book with the world, where perhaps it will be rejected, scorned, mocked, despised, or just left unsold and eventually pulped? It's a tremulous place to be, for one like me. I'm not good at slapping purses and whooping. And mostly I think I'd prefer to hide behind that tree.

But oh, when you see not one eagle, but TWO, and there's someone there who sees it too. Oh, to catch sight of eagles in good company. Beauty beyond comprehension somehow comprehended, for a moment, because you're not alone. There's a moment worth risking for.

Next time: contest voting and results!

One secret down, one to go

Alright, so I'm far enough into one of the Super Secret Projects to reveal (the original and, for me, more exciting SSP is still pending). So a little over a year ago, I started writing Daisy Danger Brown, a kick-butt girl scifi book I'd had outlined for about four years. There was so much stuff to it, I realized I couldn't do it all in one book. Besides, I have great fond memories of reading trilogies when I was younger, and racing off to the library to get the next one. I hope to make it a racing-to-library kind of a book. But I don't trust myself to write book 1 by itself. I'm too much of a rewriter. I'll trap myself in a plot line that I won't end up wanting to keep by book 3. So I challenged myself to write the first draft of the entire trilogy in one fell swoop.

Eleven months later, I had that first draft: 150,000 words. That's 50K per book, which will undoubtedly grow as I rewrite and add (and cut and add and cut and add and cut some more...). I showed my editor and my husband the first 2/3, and when I got their comments back, I realized I was not ready to jump back into rewrites. I'd already spent nearly a year with this story and I needed a break from it before I could get the perspective to do the major changes I would need to do. So, I needed to start a new project. Because I'm obsessive. And can't take breaks.

I always have books just waiting their turn, but the most fleshed out of these is a high energy, intense project. First drafts are hard for me. They're like breaking the bronco, not cantering the countryside. The prospect of doing 11 months worth of first drafting Daisy Danger immediately followed by another six months of yet another, even more challenging first draft seemed impossible.

Then I got an idea. Just like that. A brand new idea. A book I hadn't thought to give a sequel suddenly appeared before me, kind of sassy-like, taunting me most cheekily. And I seized it. And am so glad I did.

So, I'm writing another Austenland novel. Jane is not in this book. It's the story of a different woman who goes on vacation to Pembrook Park, and I am having so much fun with it. I have 25K now. No idea when I'll be done and I can't predict a release date (maybe 2011?). But I'll reveal the title, which I quite like and plan on keeping: Midnight in Austenland. I've had a blast with research reading for this book. I won't give too much away at this point. There are some familiar characters in this book, and many new ones. And the story twists most pleasantly.

After I finish a first draft of MIA, I'll return to editing Daisy Danger. I think these two projects will be nice to work on simultaneously because they're so different, and the main characters are so different, and the genres so different. Hooray! It feels great to be making progress with a new and unexpected story. I can't wait to share it.

Exquisitely bizarre

I did a blog tour as part of the forest born release. Here are some of the interviews:

Book Nut

Compulsive Reader

The Story Siren

I've mentioned before my affection for the Cybil Awards, given out by the children's and YA book bloggers. As national and newpaper review space is diminishing, I think book blogs will get more and more powerful in reviews and book recommendations. We'll see review quotes on book jackets from well known bloggers instead of the likes of Kirkus (which is apparently closing up shop! Ah, Kirkus, who will zing us with that final line now?).

As you may know, I'm one of a couple dozen writers and illustrators taking part in the Exquisite Corpse Adventure. This is an online book told in installments, each chapter written by a new author. The Library of Congress and National Children's Book and Literacy Alliance partnered to use this story as a way to draw people to read.gov, a fabulous website with so much stuff for readers, kids and adults, teachers, librarians, parents, etc. They posted Episode 7 this week, by yours truly. This was so fun and really challenging to write. They're not calling it a "book" so much as a "game." And it turns out when a bunch of children's authors get together to play this kind of a game, things get really bizarre. 

I'll be writing a second episode sometime next year, with the final episode written by whoever will be the new Ambassador of Children's Literature. I've read a few episodes ahead, and M.T. Anderson's made me both laugh out loud and tear up. I'm being absolutely literal. Laugh and cry. This man...what can I say about this man? Is "genius" too trite? How in the midst of this big stew of a story could he write a few pages so lovely and funny and perfect? Astounding.

Merry Christmas this week, and I hope you all feel snuggly and content. Even you Aussies. I know it's summer, but it's never a bad time of year to feel snuggly.

Candy from strangers

I feel so loved in that I receive so many emails! Unfortunately it's impossible for me to answer them. But I do read them all (eventually!) and try to answer those questions I get most often on my blog. Here's a repeater (paraphrased):

    "Dear Shannon,

    I think you are the most wonderful writer in the entire world and I envy your mad skills with words."

(I did say I was paraphrasing...so why not? Ahem...)

    "I have a wonderful idea for a book, and I've tried to write it for the past couple of years. Unfortunately I just can't seem to do it justice. I'd like to offer you the opportunity to collaborate with me. I'll outline the idea for you, you write the book, and we'll split the royalties. Please have your agent get in touch with me to work out the financial arrangements.

    "Sincerely, etc..."

The answer to this question, I'm sorry to say, will always be "Thank you so much, but I must decline." Every writer I know would answer the same way (though some would use harsher diction). Why is that? Well, I'd be happy to explain.

What these wonderful people want to sell to me is an idea. The truth is, ideas are not hard to come by. I get an idea for a book every day. I jot them down and tremble with impatience for the opportunity to write that book. I have way too many ideas for my own good. Ah, for the time to write every book in my brain! Ideas are like viruses. I remember a time when I didn't think I would write a book because I just didn't have enough ideas. But once I started writing books, the ideas multiplied and multiplied. The more I write, the more ideas I have.

But what if their idea is so marvelous, so perfect, so amazing! It doesn't really matter. The real work, the real time, comes in writing the story, not coming up with the idea. Writing a novel is really, really hard work for me. It usually takes years. The idea is the easy part--the hard part is finding the story in the idea, the characters and their arcs, the questions the story asks, the reason the story matters, and the right words to tell it. Compensation for writing a book is so low, it would be crazy for a writer to split their meager share with someone who isn't doing the work. It would be impossible. 

So keep that idea, nurture yourself as a writer, and get to the point where you can tell the story. You're the best person for the job.

P.S. Sorry I haven't revealed the super secret project yet! I never would have mentioned it if I'd known how long it would take. It could be next week or in two months. But you'll be the first to know!

The Secret (that there is none)

Nathan Hale's Yellowbelly is interviewing Dean (love of my life, apple of my eye) this week. Check it out--special Halloween episode!

We're working hard to finish up Stage 1 of Der Secret Project before November. It takes up a lot of my life these past months. Soon I will have much to report! 

The conversation with Sara Zarr at the library was fun. When we asked how many people there wanted to be a writer, almost all the hands went up. So we talked a lot about process. Then Sara said something I've often observed myself. She said that during the years she was writing books before publication, she often went to author events, always hoping for that Secret. How to write a book. How to finish it. How to make it perfect, publishable. And she's since learned that there is no secret.

I remember feeling that way. And I often meet hopeful writers who seem to want the same from me. "But how do you do it?"

I don't know. I can talk about my process, but of course, all processes are different. I can explain how I motivate myself, but every writer is different. And I think the unhelpful conclusion is, How I do it is I just do it. I just write the darn book.

I wonder if it would shock some people if I revealed how often I consider quitting writing. (Daily? Honey, would you agree that it's a daily consideration?) It's HARD. It comes with a lot of bumps and bruises and moments of crisis, and sometimes I just want to be the mom who reads and watches TV and makes Halloween costumes. I can't, of course. I can't quit, any more than I can quit being me. But I don't have any secret about how to keep going anyway. How to write that book, how to get it published, how to keep going when the nasty voices start shouting you down or when the books don't sell or when life gets sticky and it seems impossible.

I just do it anyway. And I still read daily (though not as much as I'd like). And a couple days a week I still watch TV (Community is funny). And Dean makes Max's costume while Maggie and I do a puzzle. And while I'm doing the puzzle I'm thinking two things: 1. Maggie is unbelievabely cute, and 2. That one scene in the book I'm writing isn't working. I wonder how I can fix it...

Verified reject

I'll be in DC/New England this weekend and next week, touring for forest born, and I'll be chatting with the Book Divas for a couple of weeks.

I finally got my scanner working this week, and I thought you might enjoy a couple of items. First, some fan art. This lovely picture, made by teen squeetuser Camille, references the film noir Humpty Dumpty story Fablehaven author Brandon Mull told on squeetus in February. (click to enlarge)

Isn't that fabulous? Next, some of you know that my first book, the goose girl, was rejected (unread) by dozens of agents, then after I found an agent (the Amy mentioned in the letter), it was again rejected nine times by the who's who of children's publishers. Cropping out the publishers' names, here are two of the rejection letters. I'm sure many of you can empathize. Oh, the days when you looked for the positive in a rejection--at least they bothered to send a letter! At least they seemed to read it at all! At least they said something sort of nice! (Oh, the pain, the pain!)

A note on the goose girl--it went on to win the Josette Frank Award (awarded by book professionals) as well as the ALA Teen Top Ten (voted on by teen readers in the US). It's been in print for six years and continues to find an audience, besides spawning three sequels. It wasn't the right book for these editors, but it was the right book for another editor (eventually--I love you, Victoria!) as well as hundreds of thousands of readers. What I'm saying is, all you writers, stick with it! I wouldn't recommended sending out your first draft, or even your first book, but once you get that really great final draft done, the rejection that follows doesn't mean you or the book is good for nothing. It's just part of the path in finding your right home.

Bare naked author souls

Every writer goes through the anxiety of expressing uncomfortable ideas and POVs through a character. I once saw a video of Amy Tan talking about writing, and she admitted her great fear that readers would assume that her characters were her, their strengths and weaknesses were hers, their way of seeing the world was hers. They'd be wrong...but they would still assume. I felt so relieved--Amy Tan worried about that too! And Amy Tan wrote anyway.

I've done this as a reader. I'm guilty. I read a book, especially realistic contemporary fiction, and I wonder if the author is channeling herself through her main character. Sometimes it's probably true. But as a writer I've learned, that's not a valid assumption I can ever make as a reader.

There's no way to hide in your writing. You, the writer, are vulnerable, present in every word. It is frightening, exposing yourself that way. But not always for the reason a reader may think. It's never universally true that an character is the author. But it's always true that the author is fascinated by the character. (maybe there are some exceptions, but I feel too lazy right now to think about them. I have a ton of laundry to do)

A writer writes what interests her, what fascinates her, what challenges her, what engages and motivates and even what frightens her. That's the goal, anyway. Feel free to assume away--that I'm fascinated by the idea of fire-speaking, or vacationing in an immersive Austen resort, of being a princess, of being betrayed, and loved, and hunted, and alone. I'm curious about male/female relationships, and the idea of falling-in-friendship. I find it very easy to follow my proposed motto of write what fascinates you, because what else would I write?

All my books are revealing about my character, though none of the characters are me. I wouldn't always do what my characters do, though I always understand why they do it. I sympathize with all of my characters, even the so-called villains. I find myself constantly allowing them room for redemption, chances to change. Many of them don't, and that fascinates me too. It's fun, this career of exploring what fascinates me, and working that into stories, and reworking those stories word-by-word. It's fun. And hard too. And it makes me completely vulnerable to my readers.

But it also makes me empathetic to other authors. I love the ways being a writer changes me as a reader. Because really, that's what I'll always be at my root.

Making a scene

I'm off to Comic-con in San Diego tomorrow. I've read all the Eisner nominees in our category, and they're fantastic and completely different from each other. If I had to vote, you know, I'd vote for rapunzel's revenge, but only if I absolutely had to. I hope to get some good photos for the pleasure of ya'll. I'm really wishing I had an Orion slave girl costume, but don't think I could stand all that green body makeup.

I was asked in a Q&A recently if I'd learned any short cuts over the years in my writing process. Only one came to mind.

I tend to write pretty linearly when doing a first draft, starting at the beginning and going forward. I have pages of notes before I start a first draft, but the actual telling of the story always changes what I thought I would do. What I assume will be the midpoint ends up 90% through the story, or in the first third. Big events I think will happen don't make sense anymore. And so on.

But as I'm writing, I do get ideas both for later events in the book or for other books. I used to just write a quick note. That's changed. Now I write it out in scene, with dialog, narration, whatever it requires. This saves time later. Often when I get the idea, it's so clear in my head I think a note will do. But a month later when I read it, it's flat and uninteresting and I don't have the essence of it anymore. Writing in scene helps me capture that moment more fully, preserve it so I can consider it later. Also, it's more fun.

My short cut: always write in scenes

Reviewed to death

Ya'll are so sweet. I feel like I have a coven of best gal friends, who are always here to say, "They were mean to you? Then they're crazy! Here, have some ice cream." (and Marcus Aurelius too, who rocks via witty ironic statements) The last post wasn't about any particular review for any one book. On this blog, I try to be honest about the life of a professional writer, good and bad. When I was young and unpublished, I would've thought negative reviews wouldn't hurt me 9 books later. But they do. They always do. They always will.

As Laura ZM pointed out, how many professions require the worker to be publicly mocked for their work? For every detail of what they've done to be analyzed and criticized? There are some. Athletes. Coaches. Actors. I understand scientists are pretty hard on each other. American Idol contestants. Anyone who posts on youtube. But it's rare generally, I think. I don't like it. But I know it's part of the profession. If I want the privilege of writing books and sharing them with people, I have to take the lambasting. (I don't have to like it! But I do have to take it.)

I don't want to sound complainy here. I have no right to. I have had 8 books worth of really gorgeous reviews. (my ninth book, forest born, just got its first national review from Kirkus--and it was lovely! YAY!) There are always the lukewarm reviews to irritate and depress. And then there are the reviews that feel less like a critical response and more like two slaps and a gut punch. But here's the truth about reviews--they're all good. And I have to be grateful for them all.

I wince when I write that, because I don't want to accept the bad ones as good. And I certainly don't want to be grateful for them. Not for that one, at least, and not that other one. Do I really have to be grateful? Do I? Yes, I do. Say it, Shannon. Say it and mean it.

"Thank you, reviewers, who hated my book and wrote out your words so that all would know that this book, in your opinion, was less appetizing than a pile of fresh hippo poo. Thank you for taking the trouble to express that sentiment in 500 words or less. Thank you."

I kinda did mean that. Of course I'd rather have glowing, loving reviews! But someone told me early in my career, all reviews are good. Just as there's no such thing as bad publicity, there's always good that comes from any review. With shrinking review space and growing numbers of books published, any attention a book gets at all is good. For example, this happens: woman reads a negative review of book; woman goes to bookstore and sees that book; woman can't remember what review said, only that it mentioned said book; woman buys book. So, thank you. Thank you, angry readers who type.

Okay, that's easier said than felt. It is SO hard to read, often physically painful. So how do I handle the two-slap-gut-punch reviews? Sometimes I just feel down and dumpy all day. Sometimes I bury it, then it sneaks up on me and I think, "Why do I feel like crap?" until I remember. Just like with anything else bad that happens. My most effective method is NOT eating chocolate till I'm sick (though I try it...often), but to put it in perspective. "Waah, waah," I say to myself in a high, whiny voice. "I have my dream job and write books for a living that thousands of people love, but some people don't like them. Poor me, waah, waah, waah." Ironic that I use self-mockery to counter public-mockery, but hey, sometimes it works.

And of course, there are the good reviews too, that I cling to during the tougher times. the actor and the housewife has gotten at least two national double-slap-triple-gut-punch reviews. But then that's balanced by some outright shiny national reviews, and some simply gorgeous heartfelt emails from readers, and ultimately, the most beautiful response to a book I've ever had. A review that made me cry--stunned, overwhelmed, relieved, so grateful. This reader happened to be in a position to judge very harshly what I wrote--she is a Mormon mother of four living in Layton, Utah who is happily married and has had a male best friend. Just like my main character, Becky Jack. Wow. And on top of that, she is a writer too. That she so publicly offered her praise completely took my breath. Her name is Mette Ivie Harrison, and if you don't know her books The Princess and the Hound and The Princess and the Bear, she is a young adult writer of no mean talent, and I am so grateful for her thoughtful reading and voiced thoughts. Thanks, Mette.

An ambiguous, rant-ish post

Sometimes when reading critical reviews of my work, I can nod and think, "That's valid," or, "I disagree, but I can see how someone could read it that way." And other times...

"What? Did you read the same book? Did you skip chapters? Did you rewrite those scenes in your head? Are you certifiable? How on earth did you get THAT out of it? Did you have your eyes shut the whole time? Shouldn't it be illegal to write reviews if you're insane?"

Like that.

As a writer you can't talk back to reviews. You just have to button your lips and take it. You don't want to be ungracious, snotty, egotistical, arrogant, nasty...even if you really want to be. It never does any good anyway. But you scream a lot in your head. "WHAT?" It sort of helps.

It can be trying. I spend so much time on a book, I rewrite to death, I'm so careful with each word, and then to have it misread...well, yuck. People can not like my books, they can be turned off by my style or story or whatever. Everyone's reading experience is personal. But when they read through highly subjective lenses and think they're being objective, I want to tear my hair out. I want to sob. I want to talk back. I want to explain. I want to sit down with that reviewer and discuss the review point-by-point, detailing where they are mistaken.

But I can't. In review vs. author, review always wins. Review gets the last word. Except for a brief shimmering moment, in ambiguous, rant-ish blog posts.

Fishing without a hook

I'll see some of you tomorrow at The King's English, 5pm. I'll be the one in the apron.

My eleven-year-old nephew Gabe said recently: "I'm trying to write a story but I need a good hook. I need the first sentence to be a hook, so that the reader will have to keep reading. Some books I read start with a hook. Some don't, but I'll read the first chapter anyway to see if it gets better. No offense, but your books don't start with a hook. They start pretty slow."

Ah, it is true, young Gabe. I've always wanted to be the writer that grabs the reader by the first sentence and never lets go. Often when I start a new book (princess academy, forest born, daisy danger brown...) I tell myself, this time I'm going to do it! This time I'm going to start in medias res and the reader won't be able to put the book down! But alas, my brain apparently doesn't work that way.

I mourn that aspect of my writing sometimes, but I can't regret it completely. It's not for naught, I think. I've had readers tell me, "I thought Goose Girl started really slowly, but I kept reading and it got better. It wasn't until I read it the second time that I realized why Ani was that way in the beginning and why those first things had to happen in order to build to what happened later."

I think this is true of all of my books, but perhaps in none so much as the two I publish this year. I ask a lot of my readers. It's possible many give up about 1/3 of the way through. That's okay, no story is for everyone. And maybe it's not the best writer who requires such an investment before the payoff. But I realize that not only is it natural for me to write this way, I choose to do it, because what's interesting to me is the overall journey. I need to allow my characters to start in one place in order to finish in another.

And maybe the NEXT book I write will start with that hook immediately and still allow for the significant journey. Hey, a girl can dream.

Rating the torture

The other day I listed my books in order of which was most difficult to write. Outside influences aside, just which stories and characters I struggled with the most during the writing process.
Princess Academy
Forest Born
Calamity Jack (upcoming sequel to Rapunzel)
The Goose Girl
Enna Burning
River Secrets
Rapunzel's Revenge
Austenland
Book of a Thousand Days
The Actor and the Housewife

I have very fond feelings for those last four. There were certainly hours and days of wrestling with the story and waking up in the middle of the night unable to sleep for thinking about what was wrong and how I could fix it. But compared to some of the others, they were a breezy walk in the park. There's no real pattern that I can see. Graphic novels can be as hard to write as traditional novels; standalone books as sequels; short books as long books. There's no way for me to know when I start a book if it's going to flow or fight.

The contemporary comedies are much less demanding of me than the period fantasies, as evidenced by austenland and the actor and the housewife there at the end. The scifi trilogy I'm starting is in a contemporary setting (like the adult books) and first person narrator (like book of a thousand days) so I'll see if those choices make a difference.

I get asked often if it's easier to write books now than it was when I was starting out, or if writing later Bayern books is easier than the goose girl because I already know the world and characters. The answer appears to be no, sadly. When you're compelled to be a novelist, you're in for a long haul of excruciating torture as well as ethereal bliss. I don't think writers are allowed to live for long in the cozy in-between.