Okay, so yesterday I took the questions from the comments (apologies if I didn't get to yours) and sent them to Dean (i.e. The Husband). And then I answered my best guess of what he would answer without having seen his responses. He didn't know I was doing that, so his answers weren't trying to either stump me or guess what I'd guess he'd guess. Got it? So here they are, my guesses first, and then his answers.
If you were a color on an umbrella, what would you be?
DH: The underside of plaid
If you were an animal (mythical, made up, extinct, whatever) what would you be?
SH: The one looking at you right now.
DH: the Semi-Legendary Shaved Bear of Ophir
Which of the Seven Dwarfs is your favorite?
DH: From the play, Quee. From the film, Grumpy. From those in the basement, Gary.
if you could go anywhere in he world where would it be?
SH: In his secret, underground burrow/lair.
DH: Probably one of those islands in the pacific right next to the international date line. Anywhere you can travel back and forth through time by swimming has got to be worth visiting.
What is it like living in a house with two authors? (Do you compete, collaborate?)
SH: There's a plethora of verbosity.
DH: The rule is: Shannon always wins.
Does Dean have another job besides author and illustrator?
DH: Alas, yes. I am a Human Factors Engineer, which I am happy to have you believe is related to the restructuring of the Human Genome. Also I fight crime. But for that I am not paid.
How many trees has Dean uprooted with his bare hands?
SH: Just one. For now.
DH: Just one, unless you count ambitious bushes
What is his pet peeve?
SH: Answering questions.
DH: Human legs
Could he be persuaded to sign books that a fan mailed to him?
SH: No, but he could be bribed.
DH: Yes, but not to send them back.
Could he persuade you to sign books that a fan mailed to him or you?
SH: Mailed where? To his secret, underground burrow/lair? But it's secret!
DH: See above.
What is more disturbing, a desk or a lamp?
DH: a desk
What is more disturbing, a [winner from last round] or a wooden chair?
Sh: Wooden chair.
DH: the chair
What is more disturbing, a [winner from last round] or a rug?
Sh: Wooden chair.
DH: Still the chair
Does Dean prefer hot water or cold water?
DH: To drink, bathe, or weaponize? Cold, Hot, Heavy.
Does he like chocolate or vanilla more?
SH: Occasional fits of chocolate lust will strike, but mostly he's indifferent to both.
What is his favorite book?
SH: SCAPEGOAT. Or maybe he'll be sweet and say Book of a Thousand Days. But really it's probably Rapunzel's Revenge. Or something no one's ever heard of.
DH: Book of a Thousand Days
What does the name Dean mean?
SH: "Bigger than you"
DH: In old Sumerian it means either "the space between Self and Other" or "human leg"
Does he like football? And if so which is better, Collage or NFL?
SH: Do you mean "football" as in the disease where your foot bloats into the shape of a ball? Then, no, he's not a fan of any foot disease, either in or out of college.
DH: Don't follow it, but was usually offensive tackle when I played. And though I've never seen it, I am certain Collage Football would be awesome.
Is spaghetti better than lasagna?
SH: For any question that includes the word "lasagna," "lasagna" will always be the correct answer.
DH: Come now, don't be ridiculous.