The great balancing act of awareness

So...Haiti. I heard about the devastation the day it happened. I was listening to NPR as I drove. I was alone--no kids (rare), so I didn't have anything to distract me from the story. And I cried. Then as soon as I could, I turned it off. I donated to a relief organization and thereafter avoided thinking about it, reading about it. I didn't want to live in that place, because I could imagine it too well.

Is this a common trait of writers? I would think so. I can't just hear what they're telling me. I imagine it out. I see a child, and see what's happened to her, to her home, her family. I create the setting, the characters, until it becomes real in my head. I imagine the moment. I get trapped in it. I guess I make my living with my imagination, but it's always there, whether I need it for writing a book or not. This is why I can't watch horror movies--I'm fine during the movie. Sure, I get a little jumpy, but I can appreciate the storytelling, especially if it's well done. But it's after the movie... I can't sleep that night, or the next, or the next, because I keep replaying the movie in my head, imagining new scenes, putting myself into it. My husband is mystified by this, but I didn't sleep well for three weeks after watching The Ring. No more horror for me.

But, Haiti... Can I ignore that? Is it my responsibility as a human being to do more? Is it enough to donate some money then ignore the rest? We tell and retell stories about the Holocaust because we can't ever forget. As soon as we forget, as soon as we stop caring about what happened, then we risk allowing that to happen again. But it hurts so much to think about it. To imagine. I don't know how much my heart can take. I'm so much more tender than I used to be. Having kids has done that to me, and losing my sister. I can't feel all the pain without getting crushed.

I don't know the balance of that yet. How much to be aware, and how much to let go. But I thought I could do one more thing at least. There are many wonderful organizations involved in relief efforts. Here's a list of some respectable ones. It's my birthday this week. If you're in a position to donate to our friends in Haiti and were just waiting for an extra nudge, consider it a birthday present to me. Because of course, you'd all planned on getting me a present, right? Isn't that who you usually shop for--family, close friends, and that one author whose blog you sometimes read? If you're under 18, do NOT donate without parental permission and blame me! I don't need those angry emails, children.

Comments

[Asha]

i completely understand what you mean :S I think that thinking about what has happened is so hard, but i also think it's important, though i'm not sure why. maybe it's because it makes me feel like i'm doing something, or that it feels like praying for them, i'm not sure.

on a lighter note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

[Ashley]

i think it is a gift more than a curse to have such empathy for people. if i have read a book, i can feel the empathy because i KNOW that character, real or only real in my own mind. But natural disasters... I feel bad. I check up on it. I check newsroom to see whats being done. sometimes i donate. but i don't go there even in my mind. for me it has to be made real through an individual. it is so much easier to feel pain for one person with a story. it must be hard to be so sensitive to others, but it is why we love you

[Christen]

I know exactly what you mean--I hear a single sentence describing an atrocity and my imagination just picks up where the words left off. It's okay most of the time, but when it comes to like what's happened in Haiti... it's just awful.

Actually, a great place to go to is threadless.com. You donate money to Haiti by buying their "Many Hands Make The Load Lighter" shirt. All proceeds go to the American Red Cross Haiti Relief, up to $100,000. And there's also texting the word HAITI to 90999 and it donates $10 to the American Red Cross Haiti Relief Fund through your phone bill.

Despite the sadness, I think it's really heartwarming to see all sorts of people from all across the globe coming together to do something about this crisis.

[Katie-wa]

I totally know where you're coming from, because I'm the same way. I just shut off the reality of the horror, because then I'll start to think about it and bawl my eyes out. Overactive imagination. It would hurt too much to go to those places in my head, so I don't. I don't know if there's a balance. I feel so guilty and callous sometimes, the way I brush stuff off. But then I realize what a wreck I would become, and stop beating myself up about it. *sigh* That's why I pray that God will make the world better soon, so no one suffers anymore. And so I don't feel guilty. Which is totally selfish... but I'd make it better if I could.

And on that note... XP Happy Birthday! Of COURSE I'll get you a present! As your gift, I will take off 1 year's worth of physical age. You can keep all that experience and whatnot, but good-bye to any grey hairs or wrinkles you may have! *waves wand* Voila! I know, I'm awesome. :D

[Cathleen]

I think we do have some responsibility to be with the Haitians in whatever way we can. By sending money, by thinking of them--this can be prayer. But don't you feel that just by feeling that pain, in some way, karmically, you may be making the world a slightly better place? I know my thinking about the people of Haiti doesn't help them, not this time--but through some complicated chemical reaction I feel keeping aware of events like this, flexing our empathetic muscles, prepares all of us to do some heavy lifting when we are called on to help.

[Jill Saunders]

I was reading a book called Efficient Learning for the Poor for work about a month ago when I had the same reaction. The book was detailing why poor children in third-world countries, especially women (because of natural iron deficiencies), will never be able to read like I do. I looked around my cluttered room and thought about my concern at being slightly overweight and just lost it. Bawled like a baby. I'm concerned that I eat too much cheese when there are people out there who will never read because of chronic hunger.

I came to this realization, though. I can't just give everything I have to Africa or Haiti. It's unrealistic. I don't believe I was born into an easier life because of anything I did or because I'm more worthy than anyone else, but I do believe I have a responsibility to help those who don't have what I have.

You can't give everything. You can't change the fact that you are well-off. But you can be responsible with your lot. I think what you've done is commendable.

[Shannon Morris]

I didn't know you lost a sister. My heart aches when I hear of such loss. I lost my parents when I was young and it has changed me forever. Like you, I think it makes us more empathic. I became a social worker and try every day to make a little bit of difference though I will never know. So many ways to help even if it is not financially, even if it not in a far away land. Teachers, you are amazing and don't get the credit you deserve. Parents, toughest job in the world and blamed for everything your kids do wrong, unfairly, I might add. Friends, you support each other every day. The list goes on and each one of us fit in there somewhere. Thanks, Shannon, for the reminder. We all need to do whatever we can to help when disaster strikes, but don't wait 'til then. There is need every single day, in every single city, in every single home. Reach out, don't be shy, pray every day, and love each other.

[Heather]

Lately every Sunday morning I read in the newspaper about Haiti and I just bawl. I suppose being a mom has made me more sensitive too. And I keep having nightmares that I'm working as a nurse there and there aren't enough supplies for me to do my job effectively. I donated money, but I sure wish there is more I could do. If someone handed me an orphan I would take it.
I also hated The Ring, if I think too much about it, it still creeps me out. My in-laws still give me flack about it. Never see the original Japanese version, which I've heard is much creepier.

[rinna-girl]

i know what u mean haiti makes me sad!
happy birthday though!

[Ashley W.]

Oh oh!! Happy birthday, Shannon! May you have the best cake, oooh yes cake! Hehe, keep writing!!

[Hannah]

It's empathy, and it's a quality that makes you and others such wonderful writers with such well-rounded, sympathetic characters.

[GoldenInkweaver]

I fell like that, i fell HORRID for those poor kids...

[GoldenInkweaver]

*felt.
And happy b'day Shannon! (a bit late!)

[Bekah]

Thank you. I was thinking about donating some money, and I'm glad you gave me somewhere to look.

[Je Reve]

Thanks for recognizing Haiti in your blog. I really don't know what I can say. It struck a little to deep for me. I mean, I didn't even know until about 3 days after (my grandma was sick), and being a California girl, I always worry about the earthquakes, the ground cracking beneath my very feet.

Happy Birthday! 3 of my favorite people have a birthday today: my sister (she's a legal adult now!!!)
My english teacher (made from the same metal as you, Shannon, right down to the pumpkin pie)
You. Duh. Happy Happy birthday!

[Laura Z M]

¡Feliz cumpleaños!

I am continuously amazed at the resiliency of humankind. To see people pick themselves up in the aftermath of a tragedy and move on is truly inspiring. I visited Thailand after the tsunami, and I was in awe at the Thai people's ability to rebuild both their villages and their lives after losing so much. They weren't just surviving; they were thriving. And HAPPY!

A family friend just returned from Haiti, where he was helping organize some of the relief efforts (he was actually on a plane en route to Haiti when the earthquake occurred). His report was similar to what I witnessed in Thailand. The Haitian people are remarkably upbeat, he said, especially the children.

God bless them.

[Rachel Danielle]

Oh Shannon- I fervently understand what you feel with your imagination. I've been through some gruesome things all bunched into a few short years. Having my girlhood eaten away by cares no one I knew could ever understand- I feel for those who've known like things. And as a writer- the instant I heard about Haiti- I was there in my head. Meeting children whose lives would never be the same again, seeing the destruction and pain, gazing at pictures of the damage and imagining the characters within. But we who are moved with such depth, with this sort of people-speaking that can seem to be such a curse- we can also use it as a gift. How many of those around us are so blissfully ignoring the problems at hand- we have the ability to stir them, to instill in them a deeper picture. To urge them to help- and to urge ourselves into action. To shy from these bone-jarring, heart-chilling images in our head, won't ever change just how real they actually are.
Happy birthday Shannon!
Prayers for you- and for those in Haiti.
~Rachel

[Libbi]

The same exact thing happens to me with living things out. A story is never just a story- its always a possibility for expansion, rethinking, or reflecting. And some things I dont want to reflect on.
But- Haiti.
Sure, the money will help. I'm positive they're greatful for any penny that comes their way. But the appreciation for what we have and the time we spend thinking about them is what is going to matter in the long run. Because what propelled you to give money in the first place? The fact that you cared. If know one cared, no one would donate, and one way to fully show how much you care is to not block it out. Think about if the US was Haiti? Would we want people in, say, England giving us money but then just forgetting about us? Or would we want to fall asleep every night knowing that somewhere out there, someone cared? Someone out there wondered about the individuals to whom these tragedies happened, cared enough to ponder them even though it hurt. Money is a tangible thing that can lead to good things. But without hope and love to drive the use of it towards a better future.....

[Libbi]

And also Happy Birthday!

[Marley]

First off, I loved your book, The Princess Acadamy. Secondly. I see the word Haiti and want to cry, they show all these survival stories, but all the survivors say they can hear people screaming and crying below them. What about them? Where the reasurance that they're okay? My family donated money, but I wish I could do more. But we all have to remember that even the tiny things make a big difference, which is why tomorrow I'm helping make ribbons to sell and our school is sending the money to help Haiti. And don't forget, after all the big todo is over, they still need help, to recover from this disaster and to help prevent so much distruction in the next.
Live, Laiugh, Love Haiti

[Clare]

I did the same thing when I found out about it.

[Princess Loucida]

Happy Birthday! And wishes that nothing like Haiti will ever happen again.

[Mindy]

My birthdya was on the 30th! happy birthday!
I know what you mean on imagining everything, it's the reason i can't watch horror movies as well (plus the music int he movies freak me out). but i can't write about them, because i have disabilitys expressing my thoughts.
The devistation in Hati is awful! i wish i was trained to do mission work there! Just keep praying and donating!