Bare naked author souls

Every writer goes through the anxiety of expressing uncomfortable ideas and POVs through a character. I once saw a video of Amy Tan talking about writing, and she admitted her great fear that readers would assume that her characters were her, their strengths and weaknesses were hers, their way of seeing the world was hers. They'd be wrong...but they would still assume. I felt so relieved--Amy Tan worried about that too! And Amy Tan wrote anyway.

I've done this as a reader. I'm guilty. I read a book, especially realistic contemporary fiction, and I wonder if the author is channeling herself through her main character. Sometimes it's probably true. But as a writer I've learned, that's not a valid assumption I can ever make as a reader.

There's no way to hide in your writing. You, the writer, are vulnerable, present in every word. It is frightening, exposing yourself that way. But not always for the reason a reader may think. It's never universally true that an character is the author. But it's always true that the author is fascinated by the character. (maybe there are some exceptions, but I feel too lazy right now to think about them. I have a ton of laundry to do)

A writer writes what interests her, what fascinates her, what challenges her, what engages and motivates and even what frightens her. That's the goal, anyway. Feel free to assume away--that I'm fascinated by the idea of fire-speaking, or vacationing in an immersive Austen resort, of being a princess, of being betrayed, and loved, and hunted, and alone. I'm curious about male/female relationships, and the idea of falling-in-friendship. I find it very easy to follow my proposed motto of write what fascinates you, because what else would I write?

All my books are revealing about my character, though none of the characters are me. I wouldn't always do what my characters do, though I always understand why they do it. I sympathize with all of my characters, even the so-called villains. I find myself constantly allowing them room for redemption, chances to change. Many of them don't, and that fascinates me too. It's fun, this career of exploring what fascinates me, and working that into stories, and reworking those stories word-by-word. It's fun. And hard too. And it makes me completely vulnerable to my readers.

But it also makes me empathetic to other authors. I love the ways being a writer changes me as a reader. Because really, that's what I'll always be at my root.

Comments

[Amanda Norr]

Wow, I am the first to respond. Love reading everything you write, your books and your posts here. You really give stuff to think and about, and you make me laugh. I continue to be inspired to write from you. Thank you for all you do and write, it is good for the world. You do make a difference.

[Emma H.]

Its so interesting, the way authors think. I mean, its like they have little control over the characters, like they are real people and the author is like the director or something. I think I can be guilty of feeling like the writer acts like the people he/she writes about, but I also find myself thinking that they only have one personal way of writing, but really, they have many styles.

By the way, I went to the bookstore and bought The Chosen One- amazing book. Thanks for the recommendation.

[Georgie]

I wonder if it's different with poetry. There are different sorts of "characters" in that style. Hm...

[Shannon M.]

Writing always makes me feel vulnerable, so I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Not because my characters are me--they have tiny pieces of me, but they definitely have minds of their own--but just because everything on the page came from me, so it's a very bare, exposing thing to let someone read those pages.

And half the time I find I'm writing less because I'm fascinated by something, and more because it's the only way to make my characters give me some peace. My characters are always WAY too real to me. They take over my life, my dreams, everything and won't leave me alone until I tell their story. I started my current project as a short story, and when I was done the character wouldn't let me stop. 70,000 words later I'm still not done. Anyone else have this problem?

[Shannon Morris]

Yes, Shannon M., by the way, I am Shannon M. also, I too have the same problem. I carry a extra paper in my purse because I am haunted by my characters a lot when I drive. So often I am scribbling furiously at red lights write myself a note until I get a chance to write the scene. And I love the way that writing brings out a side of me that I never knew was there, or was just born. I find it fascinating that an idea flashes through my mind that catches me off guard, I don't know where it came from or really what to do with it sometimes, but it's fascinating.

[Kim Harris Thacker]

I'm a YA writer, and I've been asked many times by friends, family, and even other writers who I am in my books.... I guess bits of me are present here and there in some of my characters' traits or in scenes, but I am not a character in any of my novels. I agree with you, Shannon--I, too, write what fascinates me. In that, I'm present in my books.

In response to a comment made by Georgie, my husband is a poet in his third year of an MFA program. A few years ago he wrote a poem that he won an award for that was written in the voice of a man talking about his unborn child and he and his wife's experience getting an ultrasound. So many people congratulated us for becoming pregnant! He's written from a child's point of view, an old man's, a woman's, even a bird's POV. Obviously, he is not writing as himself in his poetry (although he does in some). Still, whenever he writes from a young man's POV, he is asked (yes, even by me, when I forget myself) if he really thinks that, or really said that, etc. Funny, isn't it?

[Shannon M.]

How funny. All my life I've only known one other Shannon (and she had the unfortunate last name of Butts, so I naturally felt superior... *grins*) And now there's two Shannon M.'s following the same blog...for a Shannon. Weird. (My "M" is for Messenger, BTW)

Anyway, glad I'm not the only one with overpowering characters (sometimes I think my husband worries...) And, I do the furious red light scribbling too. But my favorite is the wake up in the middle of the night scribbling in the dark and then struggling to decipher it the next morning. Good times. :-)

[L.T. Elliot]

This is so spot on. I think a write must use honesty in the most vulnerable way while being "not a part" of it. It's a strange concept to discuss but you've done an excellent job making it easy to understand.

[Katie-wa]

I don't think we can write ourselves as a character, because we see what's coming and don't want to put ourselves through it. We just want rainbows and unicorns and LOTS of money. Let the made-up people do the dirty work, let them suffer and go through all the agony and pain. ^_^ We'll sit here and watch. We PROMISE to make it a happy ending. ;)

My poor characters. They've got it coming. :(

[Annie]

Thanks for bringing this up, Shannon. Another, similar issue I hate is when people ask about the other characters, and "who they are in my life?" (Ie--is the mom supposed to be my mom?) It's caused fiction for a reason! Sometimes things are based on real people you know (or who you are), but the fun part of fiction is to create characters and worlds out of nothing.

[Serena (Savvy Verse & Wit)]

I tend not to think that way, but that could be because I haven't had any work in fiction published. Poetry is a bit different in which a lot more of me shines through. Really enjoyed this post.

[shelley moore thomas]

It's hard not feeling exposed when you write...and sharing something that you REALLY liked writing that first time is, well, kind of terrifying. Sometimes, maybe it would be easier to just be naked in front of people!

(Well, maybe not.....)

Great Post!

Shelley

[Christen]

What is awesome is that this post came exactly at a needed moment, just totally complimenting an epiphany that I was having (and am still having). The way you express yourself just... brings warmth to my heart, to put it cheesily. In other words= you rock! :D

[Annie]

I love your books, I love all of your books so much, and I can't even explain what makes them special, but they are.

I haven't really ever (that I can remember) thought that authors are like their characters. I've always thought more about the people in the books, instead of the author. I've always looked at websites of my favorite authors, but ... I try to think of them as people.

I'm not really saying what I want to say very well, but that's good enough.

: )

[Katie @ cakes, tea and dreams]

This is fascinating - and yes, it's an important distinction, character vs. author. They're always related in some way - but never quite the same thing. Thanks for this lovely post - such food for thought.

[Lily Dideno]

I appreciate the glimpses you give on your blog about what you go through to write --the method behind the madness! It carries more meaning for me than a technical discussion of the position of the comma--important, but I can find those answers in a textbook. Please keep these posts coming! Thank you!

[Je Reve]

I usually don't try to find the author in her (or his) characters. A book is a story, independent of this world, independent of people here.

Thank You for the post, Shannon! CANNOT WAIT FOR FOREST BORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Danyelle]

This is so true. It's funny how the characters have bits and pieces of the author in them, but never the whole. Even though it can be frustrating at times, I'm glad characters don't always do what the author wants them to. :)

[julie]

wow...learned something new about writing and authors. I enjoy meeting the new characters whether bad or good.

[Kylie]

i am a teenager and an aspiring writer. i absolutely love your books- FINN is my favorite character from all of them, he's just adorable- and i had a question for you:
when you get writer's block, what is your way of dealing with it?

[Jenna St. Hilaire]

Beautiful post, as always, Shannon.

My favorite is having an experience that seems like great story fodder (with a few tweaks, of course) and being afraid to write it because someone might assume that I am the main character--or worse, that some of the characters are actual representations of family members or friends. Bad, bad thought.

By the way, I just read The Actor and the Housewife, and did I ever laugh and cry. So good!

[Libbi]

I get the feeling a lot that when I'm writing I'm pouring my heart and soul out on the page. Vulnerable is the perfect word. Sometimes I'll want to write something so bad, but I'll feel like it won't be as personal if I bring it out of my head and onto paper, which will ruin the whole secrecy of it. That's really the only time I'm shy- when I'm writing. I find that interesting, that writing really does make me a completely different person. It fascinates me. Maybe I'll go write a book about it. :) Thanks, Shannon! Your posts really do make one think. *pauses dramatically to think* Hm.

[Julie Rebecca Thorup]

I'm not sure if I've ever thought about that before . . . at least consciously, but I know I feel vulnerable when people read what I've written, I guess that's why. I tend to make my poetry a lot about me, but when I write fiction I've noticed that if the main character has any part of me, it is pretty much always a part of me I've outgrown. Like I'll put some of my awkward, teenage, confused self into characters because it's something I understand, but have grown out of. My goal is to help the character grow out of it too, because the whole point of a story is supposed to be a characters growth through various experiences, right?
Thanks for the great posts.
~Julie :}

[Dr. Sallie N. Cheinsteen]

In class once, there was a discussion about F. Scott Fitgerald, and how he often wrote about himself and his experiences. Criticism hit him hard, because critics literally loved or hated his actual life. I guess that's one way of writing. But the other way, the way to think of a new idea and shape it and twist it into another character, perhaps intrigues me more. For me, whether reading or writing- though I'm not experienced in either- the character is very real. They exist, or existed, or at least are present in life. They become a part of you, even though they may not truly be you. And I think you phrased it quite right. We are all readers at the core... that's where the exploration originally began, a long time ago, when letters were brand new and delicious and we delighted to see how they could form a word on the page.

[Sara W.]

i have to admit Shannon, i once thought you acted exactly like isi, or rapunzel. but im over it.

[NerdyEm]

Nothing like the vulnerability of reading aloud one's own work to the people one cares the most about.

Why is it, my dear Shannon, that reading one's work to a husband, sisters, and sisters-in-law is so absolutely petrifying for me?

My heart starts cantering, my lips purse themselves (of their own accord) into a self-concsious grimace of feeling watched for "a change of emotion" while being critiqued and judged by the ones whose opinion I most cherish.

Ooooh! So scary!

But back to what you've mentioned in your post about "writing what fascinates us," Richard Peck once said that he writes what he wants to know and own.

So as everything British just scintillates in my little mind, I'm having the time of my life reading "Go Slow, England" about the top bed and breakfasts and their crusty artisan breads, freshly-laid chicken eggs for a full English breakfast, and the details of 400 year-old farmhouses in Wales. So lovely, the antiquated life of some of those untouched regions. Isn't research fun when it's your passion?!

And I've only spent four days in England in my life, and as a missionary at that, but I'm beginning to feel like my mind meanders down cobblestone paths or into tiny parsonages while my hands are doing the dishes.

An author is never bored. I recently "got on facebook" and was stunned upon reading a comment by a dear long-lost friend, and an artist at that, who stated that she was BORED! I could have falled out of my seat.

"Who has time to be bored?" I ask you?! (In the words of Anthony Andrews as the Scarlet Pimpernel.) Chasing four little kids around the house each day has taught me one thing--that I'm going to plan in my mind to the detail this story of mine that's bottled in my head. So that when I have a spare block of two hours to myself again regularly (that may be in six years or so, but that's okay--a time for everything, eh), I will capitalize on that time.

So facebook buddy, there's just to much life to live on paper, and off, before coming even close to being bored.

One last thing (just in case you're really reading, Shannon). I ran into my son's absolutely adorable kindergarten teacher from last year at the "Hot Dog Hello" for our school's registration tonight, and as we always talk books she said, "So do you read Shannon Hale?"

(Do I read Shannon Hale?!) "Well, yes."

And then she continues, her brown eyes gleaming and tiny ginger ringlets quivering, "This summer, the best book I read was The Actor and the Housewife. I laughed so hard--I even cried. It was sooooo fun!"

I haven't read it yet. I must be in for a treat. The premise is a clever idea, as was Austenland. (As a side note, a bunch of us watched the Kyra Knightly version last week. That scene in the rain just takes the breath out of the old lungs there for a minute every time). Go write us more books, Clever Lady!

And I'll figure out if I can make it to that writer's conference coming up.