Creative mommies

Unless you have 45 minutes to spare, never bring up the topic of mothers and creativity to me, because it's one I can't shut up about it. In fact, I blog about it very little because it's such a huge passion of mine that I can't seem to be concise and blog-ish on this topic. To sum up: I believe that every woman needs a passion (or many!) and to find ways to pursue and express this passion creatively. And mothers famously neglect themselves, their creativity and passions, in order to give their whole selves to their children.

One of my hobbies is collecting creative mommy stories. Is this odd? About on par with Spengler collecting "spores, molds, and fungus"? (Do people still know Ghostbusters?) There are so many mothers who find ways to keep up with their passions even while being fulltime, stay-at-home mothers, even while children are young. Ack, there are so many "buts" and "hows" and "wows" and footnotes to everything I'm saying, that's it's driving me crazy to try and be concise!

Anyhow, just got back from seeing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, a production put on by the South Jordan Regional Theatre in my neighborhood. This theater was founded and is directed by one of my old theater buddies, Toni Butler, a mother of five (youngest age 1) whose passion is theater, and finds a way to keep it up. While my passion usually keeps me in my room, typing away by myself, hers involves hundreds of people--musicians, costumers, dancers, singers, actors, many of them stay-at-home mommies like herself, who need that outlet. She's giving so many people a chance to pursue their passions too. I love that. I love the synergy of that, and I find it inspiring and exciting. But here's the kicker--she also casts hordes (I mean HORDES) of children (and husbands!) so these moms and dads can go to rehearsals and performances with their whole families.

If you're in the area, there are a few more performances. Go check it out and be inspired by what one mom can do, with zero budget, no theater to call a home, but a lot of energy and love. "Any dream will do."

And if you have a creative mommy story for my collection, please share!

Comments

[Lizzy]

Stay-at-home moms are so awesome!

[Danielle]

Yeah for creative mommies :)

[Georgie]

I used to have a passion for theatre, and so did my mom. Now it's complicated and takes up tons of time. Guess it's not so much of a passion is it?

[Tracy]

I love this topic too! It's something I've thought about for so long; probably because I've had so many interests that it was hard to find my passion.

When I first became a mother, I stopped doing a lot of the external things that I loved (choir, drama, performing), but it was a conscious choice and I didn't miss that stuff. Being in my little family cocoon was my passion (still is). Frankly, I was too tired from being pregnant and nursing to miss it much anyway (I had six babies in six years).

As the kids got older and more independent, I've spent more time doing the occasional choir thing, and one year I played in the orchestra for Handel's Messiah, but I know it doesn't hold the same appeal it used to. I'd still rather hang with the family.

Part of what made me happy over the years (other than being a mom), was that almost every home we've lived in has needed renovations. I've always loved to tinker with anything and everything, so fixing plumbing, electrical, drywalling, painting, demolition, etc. were right up my alley. Don't even get me started on power tools...I've had so much fun doing all of these projects, and I've discovered talents that I had no idea I possessed.

And then there's the writing. I always had it in the back of my mind, but it was something I thought I'd do after the kids were gone. Well, with the kids all in school (finally!), I had an epiphany - what was keeping me from writing now? So I did it(well, between moving and renovating).

That was last year. Once I started, the floodgates were opened. I've just begun querying my first novel, and have a second well on its way, and 3 others in the works, as well as a notebook full of ideas! I'm so excited at the new turn my life has taken that it sometimes keeps me up at night. I'm only at the beginning of my journey, but I hope to have a long career as a published writer.

This is the first time since becoming a parent that I've felt that I'm really doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And THAT is the best feeling in the whole world.

(Um, and I'm really sorry for making this longer than your post)

[Debbie]

It's inspiring really to hear fabulous stories like that. My book club is full of creative mommies. I'm in awe with the people that surround me.

I'm going off now to email my girls and see if we can get a group to go see that play, I love that music!

[L.T. Elliot]

Props to your friend and that beautiful outlet for so many creative people!

As for my take on creativity, all I know is that I have tried to live without it and found that it wasn't much of a life. We all seek to emulate that one Great Creator and what is life but one big celebration of that origin?

[Shannon]

I'm not a mom, and probably won't be able to be one (unless the doctors are wrong...) so I can't share my own story here.

But one of the girls I work with blows me away. She has two kids (though her son has so much energy he counts as two) works full time, and manages to be the craftiest person I know (in the Martha Stewart sense of the term, not the deceitful manipulator meaning).

She's one of those people who you can make something out of anything. Give her a shoebox, some straws, and some construction paper and she'll somehow make beautiful centerpieces for a baby shower. (Sometimes for fun I'll throw random items at her just to challenge her). She mostly does small scale stuff--parties, scrapbooking, helping her kids with school projects--but I'm always amazed at what she comes up with, not to mention how she finds the time to squeeze it all in.

I honestly don't know how you mommies do it. I can barely find time, and only have to work and take care of my husband (who is, arguably a large child). But keep up the good work, because children are probably the greatest source of inspiration.

[Chelsea]

I <3 my mom.
That's awesome. I wish I could go to the theatre...

[Erin]

That's one of my favourite quotes from Ghostbusters ^__^ . . . along with the one about Spengler only having half a slinky when he was a child (from Ghostbusters 2).

And I agree; I think everyone ought to have a creative pastime that they love. I've been trying to come up with one for my mom -- hers used to be gardening, but now she finds it too tiring.

[Melanie]

It used to be that having children WAS my creative outlet. It amazed me to see these new little people that my body had created - someone new that the world had never met before. In between babies, I found a creative outlet by experimenting with my homemade bread, building my own home and designing a beautiful yard. I loved coming up with new ways to organize my chaotic house as well.

That changed when my fifth child died at birth and I was told I would never have another baby. Without that, baking bread and organizing wasn't enough. So I began painting. A couple full-wall murals later, I needed something new. So I began writing. I published an article in a magazine and started a blog. Now, thoroughly obsessed with writing, I'm writing my first junior fiction novel. My body may not be able to create a new little person that the world has never known, but my mind can create new characters and give them the chance to live.

[Shannon Morris]

What a beautiful topic, and what beautiful comments from amazing women. Isn't it so cool to be a girl!!! I feel the same as many as you. I turned 40 just a few months ago, just after finishing grad school as a school counselor, starting to work toward my black belt in karate (with my son and hubby) and writing two novels. It is never too late to start something new and I believe as women we have a responsibility to set the standards high for young people everywhere to observe and emulate. When we do something good for ourselves, it never just stays with us. I don't think we ever really know how many other people we influence when we take care of ourselves.

[annie]

When I was growing up, I thought my mom was so not creative. While my friends' moms would make papier-mache Christmas decorations or homemade Halloween costumes, my mom was helpless with a crayon. (She even refused to play Pictionary.)

But she was an amazing baker, and loved trying new recipes. At the time, I just thought that was what moms did. Now I see that was her way of being creative. We'll exchange recipes and, when holiday time rolls around, we'll have a blast planning for various family functions. I still do more crafty things on my own, but I'm glad my mom was a creative baker.

[Katie H.]

My mom loves old books for children. She finds them at used bookstores and has a keen eye for which books are rare. She started an online bookstore where she sells them. She has wonderful stories of people looking for a book from their childhood and finding it in her little business. I'm proud of her for starting this in order to keep her passion for reading and books alive!

[Jenny Tonks]

Very cool! Have you seen that awesome Uchtdorf video clip about women and creativity? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhLlnq5yY7k

MY creative outlet (aside from writing novels) is creating muffin recipes! I LOVE muffins, and am always inventing new and never-before-tried ways to serve a muffin. Check out my most recent attempts at TheMuffinMom.com!

[Courtney]

I am not a mother & like another commenter I may not ever get the chance to be, but again I am surrounded by inspiring moms. My own mother has always amazed me with her ability to be patient with four kids. We all were fairly well behaved, except for my oldest brother :), but still juggling us, my father, working, staying at home, cooking, etc. She managed to make sure we had home cooked meals - no packaged stuff, she taught me Southern traditions that her grandmother taught her and she always had time for each of us no matter what the problem. Her passion was always cooking. She found time to share all of her tips, tricks, & traditions with us. Allowing her to enjoy her passion as well as pass on knowledge to me & my siblings. My sister is the other mom. She also is a mother of four. Hers are 11, 9, 7, & 5. They are beautiful, well mannered, loving children who have tons of activities that they are involved in. My sister still finds ways to enjoy her favorite thing: exercising. I know, crazy. But she is a jazzercise instructor because she loves it & she loves people. Her schedule is erratic, her kids are actively involved in sports & academia, but still she has a great relationship with each of them & also gets 2-3 hours a day in of her favorite activity. Granted, the favorite activity makes me grimace :)
So to all you moms, with your wands of pixie dust, your ever comforting shoulders, your unending wealth of knowledge, and your love - thank you.

[Je Reve Des Livres (aka Avery)]

My mom, until a couple months ago, was very involved in scrap-booking, and had a few mommy-little person events where there were stickers flying. She always makes it known to me that we (her children) are her passion. She likes cultivating us, and seeing how we go together at the end of the day. Huzzah for creative Mothers!!!

[Anna]

One of the questions I get asked at book events and signings so, so often is, Where do you find the time to write when you have a toddler at home with you full time? The answers are many, of course--a superhero husband, a daily routine, being strict with myself about daily writing goals. But really the answer is, How can I NOT find time?

I loved your post and all the amazingly inspiring comments, too, because I think all mothers need a creative outlet--something to be passionate about that is just for them, be it a hobby or a job or volunteer work or what have you. For me, to be writing, engaged in a story makes me happy, which means that I'm more fulfilled, more relaxed. I suppose it pretty much goes without saying that that means I'm a more fun and engaged mother.

My girl blows me away every day--this amazing little being, becoming her own independent person, figuring out the world. How could I not write my books, when writing them helps me so much to be the kind of mama she deserves to have?

[Sara Weiss]

my moms not THAT creative but she likes to sew. the writer of my 5th grade play is a stay at home mom and i think shes very creative!

[Betsy]

I cook and come up with new gluten free recipes. My two 4 year olds have celiac disease, which means that they can't eat wheat, barley, or rye. So I spend a lot of time coming up with recipes that taste normal. I have also taught a lot of gluten free cooking classes at a local grocery store, which allows me to share my creativity with others. And it feels fabulous to know that I am helping to alleviate some of the panic that can come along with being told that you can never eat bread off a grocery store shelf again. And my creative efforts not only benefit my family (by keeping them fed), but help me to feel like "myself", not just "Mommy". Being a mother is wonderful, but tough and time consuming, and I think it is so important to maintain my own identity alongside being a mom . . . becuase some day all my children will be off living their own lives, and what would I do with myself if I had killed off all my creativity in the meantime?

[Rabia]

The topic of creative moms is near and dear to me. I've always been a writer, but never seen myself as artistic or particularly crafty. Having kids has made me more willing to step out of my comfort zone and try new things with them. We draw, we paint, we read together, we build with blocks. They inspire me to keep going in spite of failure, and to enjoy the process of creating.

As for creative moms I know: My sister-in-law is an awesome photographer (self-taught) who, in the last couple of years, has started her own business photographing kids and families. She also home schools her three kids (all under the age of 10), is very involved with church activities and does website/computer work. She probably doesn't think of herself as creative, but I think she's fabulously talented and diligent.

[Tanja]

to shannon who has no children.
I don't think you have to be a creative "mommy" to know what this is all about. To often in life, women are set aside to two tasks: having children and being a wife. Now I know that you have to be creative if you are a mom. Otherwise you may pull out all your hair. So it kinda comes from desperation. But, women in general are gifted to be creative and able creaters in this world. We short change ourselves to believe that we are not good enough or smart enough. I say that is rubbish. The world needs women, whether mothers or not, to stand up and make a difference. If we leave to the men the world will become too logical and for me quite boring. So I say rock on all you creaters.

[Faith]

This really is an important topic, not just interesting... I am a mother of 2 (so far)/writer/singer... and I feel so strongly that if I were to give up the creative aspects of my life, all the other aspects would suffer as well. Certainly motherhood is a noble, important, fun, wonderful vocation...but God made us people before he made us mothers; he gave us talents, and not to use them is unthinkable to me.
Also, women have to remember that someday their children will grow up...and what will you do then? THe only women I know who don't suffer "empty nest syndrome" when their last kid moves out are creative ones.
And finally, don't you want to share a passion for creativity with your children? Where else will they learn that?

[Ali]

My mom is also very talented. Right now she is helping with a play for youth in our area.

[Allison]

We just took our kids (ages 5, 3, 10 months) to the Orem Sceara Outdoor theater production of Beauty & the Beast. AMAZING! The kids were mesmerized by the entire show.

We, women & mothers, need to keep our creative outlet going that doesn't revolve around our children's passion, but involve our children in our passion.

[BeckyP]

I am a stay at home mom of four. I realize I'm in the minority here, but I have to say, reading about how wonderful "creative" moms are stresses me out. Creativity is not my thing. Never has been. My brain is wired more like the typical man's: (analytical, problem solver, science and math whiz). When I was younger I thought I was *supposed* to at least try to be creative in an effort to "fit in" and have common interests with other women. Or just to do well at things women are supposed to be good at. Ugh - those were frustrating times.
What I did discover though, is that it's important to make time for your talents. (For me, that's helping kids and teens, and sometimes adults with math.) I will never get anything out of learning to paint or decorate or whatever, and that's okay. But I think it's healthy and fulfilling for me to spend time outside of my role as mom, using my unique (though uncreative) talents.

[Meredith B.]

My best friend is the mother of two little girls-- a two and a half year old and a three month old. She is also works part time as a physical therapist, and is the director of a small dance company, Rising Tide Dance Company, which is an incredible blessing even for adult women who don't have families. There are so few opportunities for adult women with careers and families to dance like this-- and perform. It's pretty special, I think.

[Tracy]

BeckyP, I'm pretty sure you're still talking about the same thing as the rest of us. It's all about taking the time to do what you love (other than our families, of course). We need those "extra-curricular" pursuits to remain balanced (like and equation - ha!).

I always thought that science and math were very creative; always putting stuff together or taking things apart...at least that's why I loved both subjects so much. I excelled in them too. Ironically enough, though I got excellent grades, I always found writing much more difficult, but now that's what I'm doing for fun!

[Karen]

I'm finishing my last two classes for my associates degree, while juggling a husband, seven children, a dog, my daughter's friend (that we've adopted for the summer), a book series, exercise program...and having a blast. Before I got brave enough to start writing again I dabbled in tupperware, stamps, scrapbooking, baking, crochet (a business I started and still own), as well as PTA (or PTO for other involved parents and schools). My problem isn't being creative...it's knowing when to stop. Life as a mom has only given me another outlet to use my creative skills, such as making things for my children or their friends, helping out in the schools (though you don't need children for that), and getting regular material for my series.
I love the creation of life (obviously), but I've discovered that it's only one aspect of my life (though a pretty big and important one). My continuing my education is just one of the many things I need to do for myself, that of course sets a good example for my children, but is for my benefit as well. I thrive with knowledge, creativity, and the ability to use both.
What was wonderful was to discover how writing complimented them both. And I get to stay at home with my children while I pursue it. Fantastic! Hurry for all those who have likewise found a passion and pursued it....

[Calliope1of9]

Of course we know Ghostbusters still. Well I do anyway. If anyone didn't understand Shannon's reference, go see the movie now! It's such an awesome movie.

[cuileann]

Miss Erin and I watched Ghostbusters a few weeks ago. :)

Beth Kephart [beth-kephart@blogspot] is my favorite creative mum. Because creativity doesn't seem to be something she has made time for around her now college-aged son - she is often mentioning what an inspiration he and his way of thinking and imagining are to her and how much she respects him.

[Myrna]

You know those little Mother's Day books teachers have kids make for their moms? My son (he was in first grade) made one of them for me this year. One of the questions was, "What do you like best about your mom?" And he wrote, "She writes poems." I think my kids get as excited to see my poems illustrated and published in the magazines they like to read as I do.

I think last time (don't they make those books every year when they're little?), he drew a picture of an octopus that I'd made out of balloons.

On a different note, I finished "The Actor and the Housewife" yesterday. It wasn't what I expected. LOL! Sorry. I had to say that! I LOVED it. "I laughed. I cried. It moved me, Bob!" Friendship does get more complicated when you're married. I would get specific about what I loved, but you have this thing about spoilers. Thanks for a very thought provoking read.

[Fiona]

My best memories of my mother growing up were when I listened to her play the piano or sing. She had been an opera singer and gave it up to raise children. She even wrote a book on mommies and music to "keep sane" when we were little.

Last woman's conference President Uchdorf said that we needed to create, that we are daughters of the most creative being in the universe. Compassion and creation bring us joy.
So, I started writing again. I feel like I have connected to myself once more and I'm happier than I have been in a long time.
I have two books under my belt now - one I just entered into a contest and one is undergoing some final revisions.
With three kids under five I needed something major to get me beyond the chaos of unfinished cleaning, cooking, and training.
Everything is falling into place again and little pieces of my cool lost self are beginning to return.

[Apryl]

I enjoy making things WITH and WITHOUT the help of small children. I have a creative job that lets me work from home, control my own hours, and express myself creatively (so lucky, I know). But I always wonder how other women do it? How do you find time? What's your daily schedule? Do you have a standing babysitting appointment?
Right now, I have my oldest daughter in pre-school three afternoons a week and work during my baby's nap time. I also work a few hours after their 7pm bedtime. I love my work. LOVE. But it can be stressful trying to fit it all in AND be a good mommy.

[Bonnie]

Way to go! that is what I have to say. When you feel success you are a better person. Sometimes as mom's we feel failure in our role as mother(it is hard to measure) so be creative and successful makes you a better mom!

[Melissa Wiley]

Hear hear! You know, I was JUST SAYING to friends how much I enjoyed your Becky character in The Actor & the Housewife, Shannon, most especially the way her screenplays poured out of her creative energy---I liked that she wasn't at all discontent or restless in her role as wife-and-mom; quite the opposite, she was completely immersed and joyful in her vocation, and her mom-work stimulated her to creativity in all aspects of life. I don't think we've seen too many characters like that in fiction. I loved Becky, because she felt so real to me. I gave birth to 4 babies and 8 novels in 8 years, and while babies #5 and 6 have slowed my writing pace somewhat, I feel as full of creative energy as ever. My writing recharges me to be imaginative and energetic at mothering, and my mothering is an endless source of inspiration for the writing. It's a good, nourishing, whole-person mix, and I love it as much as Becky loved her world. Brava to you for celebrating the creative (in so many senses) riches of motherhood.

[Rose]

One of the things I particularly admire about you, Shannon, is the way you balance your creative work and your family in such a happy, well-adjusted way. I think part of being able to do your family and whatever other passion you may have is letting them feed into each other. (You writing a book with your husband, for example.)

I have five kids (ages 1-11) and am navigating the novel query waters and sometimes people ask me how I write with all of those kids. The thing is, they spark ideas and crit my stuff, we read all kinds of books together, and I encourage them in their own creative pursuits. When things get too hectic, I know that in my own story in my own mind, everything is quiet and orderly, darn it! It keeps me sane. :)

[Margaret]

My mother taught piano before she had children, she taught piano while pregnant, she taught piano with a child on her lap, she taught piano with children in the other room, and she still teaches piano even though she went back to school for her masters and once in a while she teaches with a grandchild on her lap.

[Kaydn]

Hello. I am an 11 year old girl who is currently writing a book of her own. I am finishing The Goose Girl for the second time this month. I admire your writing a ton. I've wondered if I could ever get a hold of my favorite writers and I am trying now. If you see this post and have time to respond to it despite the fact that you are a mother of a family, Email me at sunshine.zombie@live.com

Thank-you for your time.