Mirror of True Womanhood

I've been read a book called Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader by Anne Fadiman. In one of her essays, she writes about her experience reading a book that had belonged to her great-grandmother, The Mirror of True Womanhood, written in 1877 (by a priest--a single man...hm, interesting...). She finds some of it interesting, some of it laughable, and some plain irritating. The book's author, a Father O'Reilly, lists the prescribed virtues of a woman. Fadiman had her husband rate her on them on a 1-10 scale. I thought it was a funny idea, so I had Dean do the same for me. I should've known better. Dean will never give anything a 10 or a 0. He doesn't believe in absolutes. After seeing my scores, I had to return the favor. The numbers I gave Dean are in ():

Discrection - 4 (10)

Discipline - 9 (4)

Religious fervor - 8 (6)

Power to soothe and charm - 8 (7)

Truthfulness - 9 (5)

Thrift - 9 (6)

Avoidance of impure literature, engravings, paintings, and statuary - 6 (2)

Kindness - 8 (8)

Cheerfulness - 7 (4)

Order in the Home - his exact words were, "You try! Five." (3)

Abjuration of fashion - 4 (10)

Self-control - 7 (7)

Excellence in needlework - "Ten! Just kidding. Four." (0)

This exercise provoked some laughter as well as lively discussion.

S: Aren't I kinder than an eight?

D: No. That's where discretion comes into play.

And later...

D: I think I deserve a bit higher than a four on discipline.

S: Hm. So, how long ago did you start your unfinished book?

D: See, this is why you only got an eight on kindness.

And I guess the very fact that I'm posting this list is why I got a four on discretion.

Comments

[Laura]

When I read this book, I also had my husband rate me on each item. Shannon, I've got you beat (from our respective husbands' points of view, of course) on discretion and abjuration of fashion, but you kick my butt on discipline, kindness, and order in the home. Oh yeah, and on thrift.

Why didn't I think to rate my husband? Maybe it's time to revisit that list . . .

[Lauren]

Very cool... I especially like his answer for the one titled 'order of the home.' I should definitely get someone to do this for me; it does seem very thought provoking...

[Mads]

If I had a husband, I'd probably give him all tens. Why? Cause he'd have to be perfect to suit all my needs! lol I should get my friends to do this, though with some better questions. Like, on a scale from one to ten, would you rate me as a funny person?

[Melanie]

I think it's really interesting the order that these come in. I haven't read the book, but it would be interesting to see why he wrote these in this order.

Really, I think that excellence in needlework should come further up on the list. Just think of it's importance as compared to kindness, cheerfulness and the avoidance of impure literature, engravings, paintings, and statuary.

[Carson]

My wife just came down stairs to ask what was so funny that I felt the need to wake our offspring with my laughter.

[Juliet]

Interesting that most of Dean's scores are considerably lower than yours...

[shannon hale]

Hmm...I wonder how I'd score on the virtues of True Manhood...

[Luli]

Ha! Good response.

I wonder what would be on a 129-year-old list of virtues of True Manhood. (Particularly if it had been written by a single woman sworn to celibacy.)

[Mads]

belching: 5

work: 9

computer stuff: 8

listening: 6

housework: 7

putting the toilet seat down: 10

this is something of what I would score on the Virtues of true manhood. Ha-ha...

[The Husband]

I discovered a list of the "Principles of True Masculinity" written in the 1800s. You can see my analysis at www.dreadcrumbs.com