squeetus

Another milestone in the marathon

34 weeks! I'm so glad we count pregnancy in weeks now instead of months. Milestones feel much more achievable. Although I've only been on complete bedrest since last week, I've been capable of very little for months. Once the extreme nausea was over, I was already so big and unwieldy and contracting so often I had to lie down most of every day. Still, it's amazing how much more difficult it is to lie down for 24 hours/day as opposed to 20 hours/day. Our family motto is "it could always be worse," and it's not hard to remind myself that when I'm feeling the blahs and ceaseless body aches. The memory of the first four months is fresh. Anything is better than the nausea.

I've been mindful lately of all the women who have gone through childbirth before us. 100 years ago, I wouldn't have known that I was having twins, or that Baby A was breech and had the option of a c-section. I might have labored for days before dying. Or if I survived, there would be a high probability that one or both of the babies wouldn't. I lived for over a year in Paraguay and almost every family had a tiny house in their yard as a shrine to one or more dead babies. The norm was to have lost at least one baby. It was remarkable and very rare to meet someone with multiple children who had never lost a baby. In fact, I remember only one family where that was the case. The baby shrines were considered good luck. I found it heartbreaking, and yet beautiful too, that the mothers could turn a tragedy into something positive. What else can you do? Although bedrest is far from tragic, I'm determined to turn it into something positive. And I'm hoping these blog posts will make me more mindful of that goal.

The Labor Day that wasn't

A holiday called Labor Day is just a bit ominous sounding to a woman who is desperately trying not to. But we're near the end of it now, and no labor in sight. Not of the uterine variety nor physical labor. The sofa knows me well. I've been so hungry all day, and I take that as a good sign. My babies want to grow! I've only gained 25 pounds so far, which doesn't seem like enough. I want to pack on another 10 before they come. If they take half of that, that'd be awesome. I must say, it's kind of a cool time of life where weight gain and eating like a pig is a goal. I've got to take advantage of it! If only food would magically appear whenever I rang a bell. Dean must get tired of feeding me six times a day. Perhaps we could work out some kind of slop-and-trough system. The pig metaphor really works for me. I took a bath today and was contemplating how much my huge, stretched, pink belly resembles a mature sow. I AM glamor.

I was starting to get disheartened this evening. I'd played with the kids from the couch position, read a Justice League graphic novel, played some games on my phone and read magazine articles. But the blahs were overwhelming. Then we solved it--I just needed to get outside. Dean got a borrowed wheelchair and pushed me around the block. The evening was cool and breezy and so gorgeous. Sometimes I forget how much I need Outside. Outside is awesome. Just don't tell my babes. We want to keep them Inside for as long as possible.

Date night, bedrest style

I was just blogging the other day about how cool Korea is then two Korean fans, Kim Bo Kyung and Lee Jee Young, commented last post with a link to a Korean fan site. How cool are they?

One casualty of high risk pregnancy is date night. Dean and I just don't get to spend as much time together. At home, there are always kids to pull focus, and then I need so much more rest than usual. Going out used to be our time, but I haven't been able to sit through a meal in a restaurant or movie in the theater for the last several weeks. But I was determined to squeeze in at least one more date night. Our solution: stay in. We have a wonderful neighborhood babysitter who has been with us for four years and didn't raise an eyebrow when I asked her to watch the kids last night while Dean and I stayed in our bedroom with the door locked.

Yeah, if I wasn't doing a fine impersonation of a sea mammal, that might sound suspicious.

Kayla came over at 5. Dean ran to the grocery store, picked us up a Red Box rental and some take out dinner, and we lay in bed, eating and watching a movie on his computer. We could occasionally hear the kids laughing outside our room, and we knew it was all okay. Heavenly!

Until as I lay there, thinking about how I hadn't felt Baby A (right side of my belly) move much today, I concentrated on counting movements over the next hour. None.

So we got to go out for our date night after all...to the hospital! Where I spent 3 hours in a hospital bed hooked up to monitors. Happily we were eventually released and got home by 11:30, still pregnant. All in all, not a half bad Saturday night.

Bedrest 101

Sounds like from the comments on the last post we have some veteran bed resters out there! I feel in good company. But others may be new to the concept, so let me 'splain. I had two previous pregnancies with no complications. But twins make things more complicated. For the past while, my uterus has been the size of a woman one month overdue, while still being 2 months from the due date. A body may decide the size of the uterus means it's time for baby! But the babies are still too small. Every moment I spend standing or even sitting up increases the pressure on my cervix, and that can lead to early dilation. Any activity I undertake (like sitting up or rolling over) causes contractions. So the doctor tells me I need to do nothing. I have two positions I can be in: lying on left side or right side. Oh how grateful I am to be this far already! I'm weeping for the commenter who spent 20 weeks on bedrest with each child. You are a warrior woman.

One thing I didn't realize before all this is how precious every day is inside the womb. Babies just grow better in there. Miraculously so. Each week they're born earlier than week 37 will probably mean another week in the NICU. I'm told if born now, they have a 90% survival rate. I'm told this as if it's comforting. I can't imagine sending my first grader to school with the understanding that he has a 90% chance of survival. If I delivered today, even if they made it, my babies might stay for a month in the NICU. Because they're not fully developed yet, they would probably require a lot of medical intervention to catch up--feeding tubes, oxygen, incubator, drugs, even surgery. But for every day they keep cooking in the mommy pot, they'll be that much more ready for life on the outside.

This is important for me to constantly remember. Each day of bedrest isn't about how much my body hurts from being trapped in one of two positions or how frustrated I am at lying here useless and frustrated. I have to focus on the little wigglers inside. Each day is about giving them another shot at great health, time for their lungs to develop, time for their hearts to be strong, time for them to gain fat layers to keep them warm out of the womb. Grow, babies, grow! I will assert my warrior nature. The battle is a'waging, and I am fighting hard! While lying perfectly still. Passive resistance. Victory through inaction. Stillness before life.

Being great with child(ren)

One thing I always try to keep in mind with this blog is where to draw the line with privacy. I don't show photos of my older children, don't get into personal issues, try to keep things fairly book-related. But of course the main focus of my time and life is being a mother, so I naturally tend to talk about that as well. If there's one thing that probably crosses the line into "too much information" that would be personal medical dramas. And yet I've decided for the next little while to blog daily about just that. I'm warning you because not everyone is going to be interested in my pregnancy. I know a lot of you are moms, and there's no easier conversation starter with a group of moms than sharing pregnancy and labor experiences. How delighted we are by tales of dilation, nausea and heartburn, forceps and c-sections, incompetent/brilliant medical staff, pain and epidurals and complications...what fun! But many of you are probably pretty indifferent and mostly just want to know if there will be another Bayern book. (not right now) In that case, you may want to skim the next few weeks. (and hopefully it will, in fact, be the next few weeks)

And now, friends, cozy up for Tales from Bedrest. Yes, it's official. I was getting pretty cocky last week, thinking I was going to escape the fate of many mothers-of-multiples and go my entire pregnancy without bedrest. Alas. There were developments at my last appointment (I won't go into  much detail) and it has come to this. I feel very grateful to have escaped the sentence until now, when I'm 33 weeks.

I've found many people find the idea of bedrest delightful. A vacation! they think. How much reading and writing you'll get done! I'm sure many of you have been through this and can pipe up in the comments. The truth is, nothing changes in  life except the fact that I'm seriously hampered from being at all useful. I still have two kids that need caring for, a house that needs caring for, and all the dozens of little things that should be done, but since I must stay lying on my side all the time, everything becomes harder. And of course you feel like crap. How my body aches! Just 24 hours of bedrest under my belt and there's not a part of me that doesn't hurt. My brain is foggy, it hurts my arms to type like this, I can't sleep at night, I'm counting contractions and praying for more time so my babies have a chance to be healthy. It's seriously lame. All I can do is get up to go to the bathroom (which occurs once an hour--my, that uterus tends to crush everything beneath its bulk).

Am I getting too complainy? Let me tell you about the little miracles. That I've made it this far. That my mom is here right now making zucchini bread. That my neighbor took my daughter this morning to play and brought her back with a loaf of homemade bread. That another neighbor is bringing us dinner tonight. My chief dread in anticipation of possible bedrest was having to ask people for help. "You're being humbled now" my neighbor said. I am. I hate it. And I'm so grateful for it.

It would be ideal to go four more weeks. One and a half would be great. I'll keep you posted. Foggy brain writes complainy blog post more easily than another draft of Midnight in Austenland. Though I'm giving that a shot too.

Candy colored covers

It's fascinating to watch the things inside my belly move. An elbow, a knee, a foot, pressing out, moving slowly. "We are in here, Mother," they seem to chime. "We are coming out soon. Are you ready?"

Dean and I have a theory that the entire horror genre is based on fear of pregnancy and childbirth.

I have perhaps a month left. I hope that's enough time to finish Midnight in Austenland or I'll have to forgo naps in order to write over the next couple of months. I think it's going well. I start to get excited to share it!

I don't blog much about the foreign editions of my books. I think my books are translated into over a dozen languages. Fifteen comes to mind, but it might be more or less. I am sent some of the copies and am often fascinated by the different covers. I wish I had jpegs of all the covers and I'd have a section dedicated on my site. Some are straight up strange, and others are gorgeous. My Korean publisher is awesome. They do such beautiful books with unique covers and interior illustrations. I have a fantasy that a wonderful Korean studio will make book of a thousand days into a film.

A couple of years ago Bloomsbury UK redesigned all my book covers and I think they're really nice. I've wanted to showcase them for some time. Just ran across a jpeg of the covers over at squeaky books, so I borrowed the graphic. What do you think?

Sisters of fantasy

Did I get a major plot point in To Kill a Mockingbird totally wrong in the last post? I need to reread it. A good excuse. Rereading Hunger Games now before I tackle Mockingjay, and loving it.

Big, gooey thanks for all who helped out in Writing for Charity last week. When I have news about how many books we get to give to kids and how that goes, I'll post about it. So exciting!

I recently got a copy of Jane Yolen and Midori Snyder's new book, Except the Queen. A blog commenter mentioned that I was in the dedication. "That can't be," I thought. "I don't know Midori, and I've only met Jane Yolen twice briefly at conferences. She is the queen. I'm just a newbie. Maybe she knows someone else named Shannon Hale."

Then I saw the dedication:

I'm sure you're all familiar with Jane Yolen. Her life is far-reaching, her career expansive. She's published and edited hundreds of books--picture books, short stories, poetry, middle grade, young adult, and adult. When you hear of someone writing so many books, it's easy to assume she's mass market in some way, formulistic. She's not. She's a wordsmith, a story crafter. She is in many ways the matriarch of the science fiction & fantasy community. Both times I've seen her at conferences, I think I probably blush and shake a little, because I am in awe of being in her presence. I know maybe that sounds silly, but trailblazers and talents like Jane Yolen deserve respect.

So. To be recognized by her. To have her list me by name as a "sister of fantasy," to include me alongside writer heroes like Patricia McKillip, Robin McKinley, Terri Windling, Ellen Datlow, Angela Carter, Holly Black, Kelly Link, Diana Wynne Jones...holy cow, ALL of them. I want to fall to my knees like Wayne and Garth and insist I'm not worthy! It makes me emotional, to say the least.

And you know what more? It makes me want to keep writing. I would very much like to deserve to be a sister of fantasy.

Writing for Charity, preggo style

I love all the plot summaries! Here's one more, a one sentence sum-up of one of the greatest novels of all time:

A white trash girl gets impregnated by her own father but accuses a black man, and the defense attorney's daughter dresses up as a ham.

When submitting a finished manuscript to a publisher or trying to sell an unwritten book, one-page plot summaries are required. Having a full page instead of one sentence doesn't make them any better. Oh, how I despise writing plot summaries for my books. If I could say what it's about in any fewer than 300 or so pages, I would! Some people rock at summaries. I fail.

The Writing for Charity silent auction continues. My item is up, but only available to those attending the day workshop. If you pre-register, you get one virtual raffle ticket for each day in advance, and then they'll raffle it off at the event. If you can't attend the event, I'm going to offer a second chance up for auction. I'll let you know when that one is available for bid. [UPDATE: NOW AVAILABLE!] Once again, if you win the bid, I will write up a detailed, glowing account on my blog about how you are my best friend and all the many ways you've saved my life. Other cool stuff you can bid on if you're not attending: lunch with Brandon Mull (Fablehaven), have a murder victim named after you in an upcoming book by Dan Wells, etc.

Once again, I will be attending the Evening Extravaganza this Saturday. James Dashner and I will co-mc, and I'm going to have to track down a wheelchair somewhere so he can wheel me around. I can't stand or sit upright for very long anymore. I probably spend 20 hours a day lying on my side. (Is this fun? This is not fun. If babies are not cute enough, there will be a reckoning.) This will be my last public appearance for a long, long time. Please come! We've arranged to buy books at huge discount, so your $10 ticket will buy 3-5 books for kids, most of whom have never owned their own book before. A family pass at $25 will help us buy 10-14 books. Registration for the day workshop on Saturday buys a book for every kid in a school class! Pay at the door, or use Google Checkout on the site.

Fun with plot summaries!

I've been cleared by my doc for the next two weeks, so I WILL be attending the Writing for Charity evening extravaganza. Wish I could do the day workshop as well. It's so fun and so worth it. I hope many writers will attend. You don't need to be a writer to attend the evening extravaganza--just enjoy a cool book-themed evening. Only two more days to register at the discounted price! Also, my item is up on the silent auction: "Shannon Hale will rave about you on her blog, describing in detail how you saved her life several times."

Recently, a fellow author pointed out a blog post where a woman disparages teen lit in general and the American Library Association in particular for their book recommendations, based solely on the one-sentence plot summaries of the books. Here are a couple of examples:

Jumping Off Swings
Ellie is pregnant after looking for love in the wrong places with one too many boys. Corrine, Caleb and Josh all deal with the emotions, consequences and difficult decisions ahead.

Going Bovine
Cameron knew there was something wrong when he started seeing pillars of fire and angels, but he never imagined he had mad cow disease.

And from those summaries, of course, the blogger is instantly equipped to judge trash from art. This sort of blog post is pretty common. Now you know me, I'm always a fan of publicly condemning books you haven't read. Such fun! Great hobby! But that aside, this strikes me as a wonderful new game. Let's see just how horrid any award-winning, critically acclaimed, or morally upright book sounds when pared down to one sentence. Name these books and add your own one-sentence wonders in the comments! Mine are taken from texts commonly assigned in high school lit courses.

1. Impotent Jake Barnes can't consummate his love for Lady Brett, so instead he picks up prostitutes, watches bull fights, goes fishing, and drinks like a fish.

2. After the ghost of his father instructs him to murder his uncle for murdering his father and marrying his mother, a young man thinks aloud a lot and verbally abuses his girlfriend.

3. Hester has an affair with a weakling preacher but won't tell anybody that the baby is his because she is a noble adulteress.

4. A war hero, anxious to return home to his wife and son, dallies first for seven years on an island with his immortal mistress.

5. After meeting once, two teenagers decide to get married (even though their families want to kill each other) with fatal results.

6. A young girl wishes she could hammer on rocks and talk through them in mystical manners but instead watches goats and goes to school.

7. Emma, bored by her husband and child, has a couple of unsatisfying affairs, becomes a shopaholic, then commits suicide.

8. A small town man, trapped in a childless, unhappy marriage, falls in love with his wife's young cousin, with whom he attempts suicide by extreme sledding.

Words from the beached whale

I keep kind of meaning to post a photo of me preggo, but that would require standing up, getting the camera, and uploading the one photo we've taken, and I haven't done my hair since February. What I hear from everybody is "you don't look like you're having twins." I think they mean it as a compliment, but I'm insulted! Hey, I'm doing a lot of hard work here! I deserve to look as miserable as I feel! I'm 30 weeks now and considerably larger than I was when I delivered a 9 lb baby at 38 weeks. And still growing...

You don't want to hear the crazy rantings and bodily complaints of a house-sick gravid lady, but let me just say to all those twins out there, go give your mother a big hug. And a foot massage. And a few tears of gratitude wouldn't hurt. I may not feel all mysterious and Earth-mothery, but I have no doubt that I am a saint.

I continue working on Midnight in Austenland, and it grows even as I do. I wish it wouldn't. That means I'll be trimming and trimming later on. But I've got to get out everything I think so I can see what's important and interesting and cut fat later. It's the best way to get the best bits. Just wish I could get it right the first time!

Please don't forget about the Writing for Charity even on August 21 at Waterford School in Sandy, Utah. This is the last week to register at the discounted price! Registration form (pdf)

Writing workshop: $60. A dozen published, award-winning picture book, middle grade, and YA writers are uber-accessible and helpful. We get such great feedback from this each year. Includes lunch.

Evening Extravaganza: $10, $25/family. Including music, improv comedy, awesome raffle, and a superstar author panel (with Brandon Mull, Brandon Sanderson, Jessica Day George, James Dashner, Bree Despain, and maybe me...). This will be a blast! Come, bring the fam, enjoy!

We have a silent auction going on as well. I'll let you know when my item appears. For the winning bidder of my item, I will dedicate a blog post to that person, elaborating on the many times he/she saved my life.

A reminder that everyone associated with this event is a volunteer. We have no overhead. Every dollar you spend on auction items, workshop registration, or evening event tickets goes directly to buying books for kids in high-risk areas. Win-win, baby!

More questions answered!

"What is Midnight in Austenland?"

Austenland was my first book for adults. MiA takes place nearly a year after the first at Pembrook Park. The story follows Charlotte, a different woman going on the Austen-themed vacation. It's not technically a sequel, I guess, and it takes more inspiration from Northanger Abbey than Pride & Prejudice. There's no pub date set yet. With twins in the oven, so much is up in the air. I'd be surprised if we could get it out in 2011, but maybe, or maybe early 2012.

"You said in one of your previous posts that you like to think of Mt. Eskel and Bayern on the same planet but different continents and different time periods. Do you think of the Eight Realms the same???"

Indeed I do! Book of a Thousand Days takes place on the other side of the world from Bayern and about three hundred years earlier. Danland is across the ocean and about two hundred and fifty years later.

"What's a day in the life of Shannon Hale?"

Lately, a lot of lying on the couch and watching the house go to pieces around me. Four days a week I have a sitter who comes for 3 hours in the afternoon, and I go into my bedroom and write. Otherwise, I'm probably a typical pregnant mom of two kids. My oldest started first grade, my 3-year-old is dying to start preschool. I have no idea what will happen when the twin terrors arrive. Of course I'd like to keep writing but I'll see how and when that's a possibility again.

"How many hours go into a book? Do you often change the story a lot after you've written several drafts?"

I have no idea how to count the hours. Hundreds of hours. Maybe thousands. I do many drafts, at least 12, and I do change the story a lot, often quite drastically from the first draft.

"Here's my burning question: Why are you so gosh darn awesome?"

Vitamins.

"do you get stressed out frequently with being a mom,a wife and an author?"

Yes. All the time. I don't know how to do it all so I don't. I'd rather fail as a writer than as a wife and mother. I'm most definitely failing as a housekeeper and gardener. My ship has sailed as a scrapbooker/seamstress/baker.

"And also how do you manage to get such beautiful words on paper?"

Thank you. Lots of rewrites.

"What else do you want with your medium-rare steak?"

Asparagus and watermelon.

"How do YOU rewrite? I think I have a good system worked out, but I'd like to hear how the professional's do it"

Almost every writer I know has his own method of rewriting. I don't think there's a professional way to do it. Part of learning how to write is learning your own method of rewriting. It's actually hard for me to explain succinctly what I do when I rewrite, and each draft is a little different, as is each book. I'll have to devote a blog post to this sometime.

"How many kids do you have?"

Max, age 6, Maggie, age 3, and two more who hopefully won't make an appearance for at least a month and a half.

"I was just wondering if you had had past experiences that prompted you to include people-speaking in your book"

Yes, absolutely. I've observed many superpowers in friends and acquaintances. I have a friend, for instance, who has an innate sense of direction. We drove to California and around LA without a map and she always knew where she was, even having never been there before. I had a friend in high school who totally had people-speaking. She just had that charisma (especially with guys) and confidence that made people want to do whatever she asked. She was breathtaking. I loved watching her work her magic. Her story after high school didn't go so well and I've often thought that people-speaking would be a very difficult talent to maintain.

"will you be writing another graphic novel? A sequel to Calamity Jack, maybe?"

We are not currently, though I would love to! I have an outline for a Jack sequel. It's harder to jump into a graphic novel than other novel because the art requires so much time for the illustrator. I hope Nate Hale gets the recognition he deserves.

Thanks for all the rapunzel's revenge and calamity jack love! These books have my heart. It makes me so happy that they find an audience. I continue to believe in the power of the graphic novel for many kinds of readers. I'll have to keep blogging about gn recommendations.

"are the other countries in the Goose Girl series based on actual places?"

Yes, very, very loosely, Rome for Ingridan (Tira) and Ireland for Kel.

I'm slowing way, way down. I'm not on full-bed rest (yet) but have to stay down for most of the time. I can't sit through a dinner in a restaurant or a movie in a theater and have to write reclining on my side. Not easy! These babies better be cute.

Shannon answers your probing inquiries* *probe not included

Here are a few questions I keep getting via email/comments/in person. If you have others, ask away in the comments and I'll answer as many as I can next post.

"When will Forest Born paperback come out?"

As usual for me, US paperback will come out 2 years after the hardcover release, so fall 2011. forest born is in paperback already in the UK/Australia.

"Will there ever be an Alison Jay painting on a Forest Born hardcover? I want a matching set!"

I have many hopes that one day there will be, but if it happens, it will be a special gift edition, a limited time sort of thing, and not this year at the very least. I hope, but I'm not holding my breath.

"Will you be making any appearances in my state anytime soon?"

No. For the time being, all my appearances will be confined to the couch and/or bed. Preferably while reclining on my left side and eating a medium rare steak. The only possible appearance I might be making would be August 21 at Writing for Charity. Otherwise, I doubt I'll be traveling for the next couple of years.

"When are you due?"

Mid-October, but I'm sure we'll welcome the little hell raisers before then. 

"What was your 'super secret project' - your pregnancy or Midnight in Austenland?"

Neither! Sorry, I still haven't been able to reveal that. I try not to talk about it anymore because I know that must be annoying and I really don't know at this point when (if ever!) I can reveal. Which is hard because it's something I've spent hundreds of hours on over the past year and has been a fascinating journey for me. I'm eager to share! Just as soon as my lawyers and the government of Lichtenstein give me leave. (Just kidding about the lawyers. But not Lichtenstein.) (Okay, just kidding about Lichtenstein too. Really it's Mali.)

"What are you going to name your baby girls?"

No clue.

"Will there be a fifth book of Bayern?"

I'll never say never again when it comes to Bayern, but I am not currently writing one.

"What are you currently writing?"

Midnight in Austenland. Ooh, the title alone gives me a thrill! Can't wait to share! Sometimes Daisy Danger Brown, though the latter won't be finished and published for years, I'd guess. It's definitely gotten the shaft this year. Sorry, Daisy.

Address any other non-burning questions in the comments. Burning questions should go to your doctor. (I stole that from Libba Bray.)